I'm usually moving around and doing stuff. Not often do I just sit and ponder. I should, probably, but when I have the time to sit I prefer reading. I love entering someone else's world. So, I was surprised to find myself out recently, totally sober, and just sitting. I enjoyed it, observing human interaction and expression.
At some point though, maybe I was getting tired, I saw in a moment people for their body frame. And really, how different they all looked. Every one is shaped differently, with different sizes and their body coverings fill their frame. That reminded me of why I wanted to lose weight. My mom used to say I was just big boned. I have always been strong which I like and flexible, which I love, but also big. So when I found out about the HCG diet I thought, "Let's see if I can get my body to match my frame." To really and truly see what I look like. So I did, I lost weight, and then some more and gosh, I weighed less than I thought I could.
So, I'm sitting on the couch observing these frame/body having people and wondering why if that is what I saw in myself before. A frame/body that didn't match? What was I so afraid of?
Now I sit, try to be calm, and think about it. What does my body give me? What do I need to give it? Because we are in a relationship together. A healthy one is my hope.