Food Grouch

I have recently become a large fan of this blog written by someone who calls herself the Wellness Bitch.  And yesterday after ready a post on FB where someone totally attacked this person for her food choices (she had started a detox) I went to the WB and read something that resonated. 

Why do you think being negative would be productive in getting someone to change their eating habits?  Because I surely turn inward when someone attacks me.  The WB talked about how you sometimes feel like you are the only one standing up for your food choices.  That you feel weird.  And outside.  I don’t feel that way all the time, but I do sometimes.

Sure, it would be lovely if I had grown up a completely different person who didn’t care about food and just blithely went along making good food choices.  Doesn’t that sound great?  But I didn’t and I don’t.  I work hard at this.  I made great food (and horrible food) in this experiment of life that I call eating food that sustains me.  I shop in the bulk and produces sections solely these days in my vegan eating choices with an occasional trip down Tofu Way.

My son doesn’t like the look of these foods understandably (they don’t look at all like a grilled cheese sandwich), but I have to hope that what I am doing will positively impact him.  I don’t want him to struggle like I have.  I am proud that he knows all the vegetables by name in the house and knows food by the glass jar in the pantry, not by the packaging.

I am sorry if I’m a grouch, but this food thing isn’t easy.  The body changes as do the seasons and with that change comes a new set of foods to eat and learn how to cook.  I want to help people (my son, my husband, my family, my clients) make good food choices so they can be healthy for them.  I want people to understand that food isn’t always about hunger, but emotion and the past.  And this is ok.  I am doing the work so I can help others as well as myself.  And to make the decision to finally choose themselves.  Fully.

We all liked Oscar anyway, right?

Recipes

I think I am finally working toward making my own recipes.  I have begun searching for recipes with specific ingredients in mind.  It has taken a while, but I am making my own powerful choices for food more and more often.  This goes to heart of food.  Buying in bulk and working wtih the true essence of food.  The final step is creating recipes for myself with the spices, fresh ingredients and flavors I enjoy.

That being said, I found and massively altered this recipe for Quinoa Pumpkin Pancakes.  And they were soooo good. (Because I really like quinoa and pumpkin... and who doesn't like pancakes?)

Self Love

Upon getting engaged in 2001 my mom suggested the hubbend and I go to couples counseling.  We found a great guy and went for quite a while.  This awesome dude came up with the phrase , “There is a lot of Brooke in the room” as a way of expressing all that I have to offer and all that I am.  While this phrase is definitely used between us with specific connotations, over the years I have felt like I have become less and less present.  Like that phrase is no longer relevant.

And then recently, ironically, I have been feeling more recently.  Ironically in that as I have shrunk in size I am becoming more of a full person.  Losing the shroud of depression I have regained my personality in a smaller sized frame.  Simultaneously inspired and deadened.  Full of possibility, but irrepressibly cranky.  It is strange in my life.  And I think it is impinging on my relationships.

I have circled around it, but have realized some of it is due to the lessening of some of my support structure.  Hubbend is so busy at work and my parents are across the world.  I have finally begun to feel like I have something to contribute and am feeling constricted by my role as mom.  You see I have never been a mom who was in love with being a mom.  I love my son, but I don’t love the role of mom.  I am a good mom, not great, but know that my son is getting all that he needs through my care, my husband’s special relationship with him and my parent’s caretaking of him on a regular basis.  Right now there isn’t as much help and our life is fraying at the edges.

I am trying to move forward in my life with a potential for fulfillment and I need more to do so.  I need to be able to push forward into these changes so that I find this true meaning.  With change comes challenge.  We are ready for it, but unprepared with how to make those changes a reality.

I know that change can make everything uncomfortable for a while.  I am okay with that.  But not sure about others.  So there is the ride of life again…………..  There is going to be more Brooke in the room. We’ll see how that goes.

Self Healing

I have recently become more and more infatuated with Ayurvedic Medicine.  I can even spell it properly now.  I really liked it from the moment I heard about it last fall, but it was a bit more complex than I could grasp in an overview.  Last week’s lesson was dedicated to Ayurveda and after listening to a 2.5 hour lecture and all the attendant research I feel like I have a decent handle on it. 

What do I like about it?  I like that you take ownership of your life through self knowledge.  I love that by knowing your type you can look at what ails you through that lens and find ways to fix the problem.  I can’t sleep at night, well, as a vata it clearly states that I need more grounding activities and should eat warming, grounding foods.  I didn’t have this information before but I knew something was wrong.  It all makes sense now.

It makes sense that I fly around like a crazy person and when I do this in the winter (vata time of year) in combination with eating raw I am feeling unsettled.  I just love it.  I love the power I feel in the potential to heal my own ills. 

I have always admired my hubbend so for how he took control of his illness through western medicine.  Now I have that power too.   Reading a new age-y book recently the author talked about creating your own present and future by talking positively.  This is generally the type of book I would throw across the room, but I loved the idea that the next time hubbend has to go into that surgery room I can bring a little bit of eastern love and ask them to speak positively so we can make sure that we do all we can to heal ourselves.

Self-Care, Self-Healing.  What’s next?  Self-Love!

Self Care

The hubbend and I have conversations occasionally about the past and how things might have gone differently.  Like, what if we hadn’t left Colorado?  What if we hadn’t met?  What if we hadn’t had a child?

I assert that leaving Colorado was the best decision of my life.  And if we hadn’t had a child I have to wonder if I would still be a Library Media Specialist for the Harold Oliver Intermediate School going on my fifth year now. 

One of the questions on the Health History consultation is: when was the time you felt best in your life.  I confidently state it is now.  Why?  Because I have finally learned how to take care of myself.  At 35 I feel the fittest, happiest and most fulfilled I have ever felt.  Which is why I found myself thinking about the past this morning.  If I were a LMS at HO would I have learned all I have about my body and it’s potential in the past 5 years?  Is there something about having a child that, ironically, has taught me how to take care of myself?  Interesting that being a mom could teach me to have better self care in that this is the time most mom’s neglect themselves.

How do you take care of yourself?  I do it through exercise, but that is something that has developed over the years.  Yes, I have always exercised.  First, to make sure I was in shape enough to play soccer and then just because it was what I did.  Now, I get so much more from it.  I do laps in the pool and instead of being bored I find myself solving problems.  I run and get to spend time with friends or just enjoy the fresh air.  I practice yoga in a healing space that grounds me yet allows me to fly.  It is more than cardiovascular now.  It is spiritual.  Weird.  Cool.

So I ask again, how do you take care of yourself?  And if you don’t know, pleaseplease think about it.  And then build it into your day.

Take Care.