Apparently I am happier when I am in a more confused, mostly ditzy state. Apparently I need to find out how to be like that more often. Because it is nice not being worried and frustrated all the time.
I often want to ask those optimistic people what they think about while they are thinking all those happy thoughts. When I don’t have something to think about I just think about what I need to do, what needs to get done, what I should be doing. And not surprisingly I begin to get upset, frustrated and depressed. What should I be thinking about instead? Should I be thinking about how I actually got up this morning? That I get to have knee surgery? That I got to have lunch with my husband? Ok. That actually sounds nice. (the last one, that is)
Thinking about the good things. Huh. Well, I might as well try it. I know the just not thinking isn’t going to work.