Fast Run Time

I dropped my mile minute time by 1 minute. Woohoo!

My Food Rules (in process)

I'm no Michael Pollan, but I've come up with a few food rules of my own. I think I'll keep editing this list as appropriate. (it is currently up on my frig)

- Sugar is sugar no matter what it is called. Eat it, don't eat it, but don't kid yourself.
- If you have a craving eat EXACTLY that and nothing more.
- Make good food that tastes good. Ignore their grumblings. Being a good model is the best thing you can do.
- Eat breakfast EVERY day. Even if it is small.
- Try to build a lot of Yes foods around you. Saying no to foods often wears you down. If you have to say no to foods so much that you are eating foods that don't make you happy then change your environment.
-If it is after 8pm and you are eating it isn't because you are hungry. Think about what is really going on and try to satisfy that through something other than food.

I've got one ruminating about the amount you eat, but it is not quite there yet.

What are yours?

BadBad Mom

I have been so proud of my son recently. He read every left page to my right page on "Go Dog Go". Yep, he's three. Yep, I am proud. He is a great kid. He is also extremely annoying. He doesn't stop talking and has no regard for anyone else. Especially the mother who spends all her time with him. Especially the mother who can't get hired for a job and is feeling extremely poor and therefore feels like she can't ever get away from him. This mom who has always been very active. This mom feels really bad about it sometimes, but that is all i want. Some time away. Some time when I can just be me. And then there is that. Who am I? Oh God. I don't want to get into that right now.

It is so tiring sometimes just being here.

recipes

I don't think people read this blog for the recipes, but I just made the meal in a muffin recipe and it was pretty gross. so. don't. :) Have realized how much I like vegan baking, but sometimes you can't replace flavor when it doesn't have it to begin with.

On the other hand I found a site called dani spies and am making a recipe - broccoli, beans and squash - and I'm excited about it.

article

I read... a book I need to read:
"...the reasons we don't fully understand, those of us who are compulsive eaters choose food. Not because of its taste. Not because of its texture or its color. We want quantity, volume, bulk. We need it - a lot of it - to go unconscious. To wipe out what's going on. The unconsciousness is what's important, not the food."

Wow. When I hear that I feel so sad that I spend my life wishing for unconsciousness. That is not living.

everything or nothing

back and forth.
everything or nothing.
way too many sweets or none at all.
jeez.

I don't understand how people keep a candy bar around for a week nibbling just a bite. I don't even like candy bars, but there is no way that would happen. So, when I decide I need a sweet I keep on eating until I am overfull. What angers me is when I can't find what I actually want (peanut butter chocolate chip cookie) and keep eating around that until I am just full and gross and... gross.

Parenting is a bit like Dieting

We are having a weekend of setting down some rules as things have gotten a bit lax around here. That sentence was about my son, but it also applies to my diet. Beta has been developing some bad habits (talking back, hitting the keyboard, and other will-related activities) and while it is easier for a while to let that little ball of will rule the house it ends up backfiring. So now we have to tighten the belt and have some days/times of crying and whining so that he stops these bad habits. This is good for the long run - not so much for the short term.

How does this apply to the diet? Well, simple. It is really easy to eat whatever you want whenever it is available. Is that the healthiest way to eat? No. So, I have developed some bad habits that I need to restart. It will take a few days of whining and crying (on my part) to stop these bad (drinking too much, snacking late at night) habits and tighten that waistline. Not only do I dislike the poochy stomach, I dislike the whoosy feeling I get from too much sugar. I also really dislike waking up in the morning still full cuz I carbed up the night before. This sets up a bad cycle for the day. (no breakfast and then snacksnacksnack)

I think habits lay on top of each other. Start a good foundation and then lay those supporting habits on top and keep going. Over time I hope that I will have built in so many good habits that the bad ones will be minimal and so intermittent that they are just ok indulgences in an otherwise stellar diet.

Workout vs Diet

I am reminded that the workout and the diet actually serve different functions. The workout gives you strength, flexibility, endurance and a longer lasting physical happiness. The diet provides sustenance, energy and gives you the ability to live in your body. The workout cannot overcome the diet, however.

I have long been the person who worked out and then did some self destructive activity immediately following it. Yes, it is healthier to workout and be a little larger than skinny and never workout, but self destructive is not healthy either.

I think I need to separate the two mindfully. I need to workout for what it makes my body feel and able to do. I need to eat well because it tastes good, is a social experience (or so says Michael Pollen) and because it gives me the energy to live my life.

That shouldn't be so hard, should it?

Control

I've recently returned from vacation where I learned something interesting about my eating. I spent the early part of the week with my parents. This was fine as my mom knows (pretty much) what I eat and respects it. She even told a saleswoman that I have worked hard on my body. I think she meant it to be a compliment... :). ANYWAY. She would ask me what I wanted and this was fine, even dropped another pound I think before the big bikini unveiling. So, I arrive in Phoenix and what happens? I have absolutely no say in what I can eat for breakfast and then find it really hard to find healthy foods for lunch and dinner. And then, guess what happens? I gave up. Just ate the food brought to me and felt increasingly gross. One reason was I never knew when I was going to get another meal brought to me and I didn't want to miss the opportunity for the free food. Another was that it is really hard to eat well when constantly presented with huge plates of food filled with carbscarbscarbs.

Wonderfully, I'm not being hard on myself. I am just back home and buckling down to my regular diet and will lose the weight. But back to what I learned.

I really became a better eater and able to maintain this body I now claim when I gained control of my diet. I know what I eat and how it is comprised and I even know what it is that makes me go astray. I was so frustrated to not be in control of my diet. It made me feel like there was nothing I could do to be good to myself and feeding myself mindfully.

And what is interesting is that I feel so much better now that I am home and in control. I don't even mind that I was hungry this morning b/c I knew that I would feed myself soon and I would feed myself well. I am looking forward to this week of abstemious eating and giving my body back to myself.

Side note - not all people are like me. Surprise, surprise. The hubbend finally began to eat better when he gave away control of his food and just began to eat what I served him. That too I find interesting.