Monday, December 28, 2009


January is my annual no-alcohol month. This year I have decided to call it a cleansing period. I will follow weekly themes which will not only provide structure but will require me to stretch my brain for new recipes. I haven't fully figured it out yet, but start with (not surprisingly) superfoods. I think I'll do a vegan week and the last will be a "healthy" week whereby my body will let me know what it wants and I will listen. (The idea sounds nice at least). I haven't decided about week three. I am thinking "whole foods" or something like that.

I am excited!! Am also intrigued to see what happens mentally, physically and emotionally throughout the month. I have a feeling I'll be a bit grumpy from time to time... but then, what is new? But what if I'm not? That would be awesome.

I have a spreadsheet made, but can't figure out how to attach it... I'll get the hubs to help and do so.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Garlicky Green Beans

Made these with salmon for dinner last night - Garlicky Green Beans

Super yum and easy. I usually make my green beans with pine nuts. I might combine some night or at least use the process.

OK. well that was crap

So I finally to went bed and totally can't sleep because of the sugar coursing through my body. Well that was a crap idea. Did I really think I could get away with drinking sugar and eating sugar and not pay? I guess so. I think I forgot that my body is overly sensitive to sugar. I have been sleep deprived for years now. I have been unhappy for years now. Linked? I think so. God, how I would love to be asleep right now, but I've got sugar coursing through my veins and a three year old sleeping for three more hours. God. tuna. salad. spinach. yes. please. Tomorrow I will be better.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Spoonful of Sugar makes the cravings go.... UP!

I didn't weigh myself for years and years. Then after this thing I did this summer I began weighing myself every day, sometimes twice. So. I think I am going to take a week off. This week to be precise. Why? Cause it is too hard to be looking at a number when this week has too many yummy treats and events to attend. Does that mean I am going to go hogwild? Nope. Just think I'll give myself a break and start again Sunday. Probably with a steak day. Will it suck. Yep. Cause really I love being skinny. Especially those four weeks in September when I could see my sixpack coming in and my muscles were just so there. It was killer. Now I've gained a pound or two and look FINE. But still. That was killer.

January is coming up and I generally do an annual TakeAMonthOffWine month. Perhaps that will help with some of the weight, but I have my Mar3 goal of the bikini to inspire me as well. Losing weight sucks. You have to be a bit hungry and I honestly think you have to give a little on nutrition as well. You just can't get in your 7 servings of fruits/veggies if you are eating less. So we'll see. I'll try it slowly, but I want to wear a bikini in March... and I don't want to feel bad about it.

Enjoy your week and the magic of the holiday! That is my plan.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

greeny goodness

Am trying this soup tonight. I was going to make a spinach with shallots side, but think this is sneakier (at least if it works) :)

Monday, December 14, 2009

The Power of the Apple

My dad eats at least one apple a day whether they are in season or not. He believes in them somehow. I've always been a fan of apples with peanut butter so am not that hard to convince that apples are good good stuff. I recently heard that apples dowsed in cinnamon (another fave of mine) are really good at supressing your appetite. So, tonight I tried it again. I am having mad craves for food. Something that tends to happen mid-month for me (call it women stuff if you'd like) and that is when I dive for the chips, crackers, etc that I ignore the rest of the month but that add up to the 1-2 pound increase that drives me crazy. So, this evening when the crave was calling I cut up an apple with my corer (something my dad never knew about even with his love of apples) and dowsed it with cinnamon. It worked! I have almost made it through the night, but know that I will. Weird, huh?

How many other spicely suprises are there to discover?

Thursday, December 10, 2009

little bits

I've come to some little bits of peace recently. About my body that is. I appreciate that where it is has brought me to this place. I know that I want to lose 5 pounds so I can wear a bikini for the first time in my life. I know that I have until February to do it. And I know that I can.

A plan is forming. For my life it includes all these pieces of me. I have often thought about teaching yoga, but have long struggled with it. I know now that it is not something I am ready yet to give away. What am I ready to give away? Food, and my ability to talk through healthy options, how eating can make you feel good, how necessary it is to make good choices and most of all to share my challenges. I know now that I will continue to sub as I can, but my goal is to help people with their health. I start with subbing - that gets me the money to pay for classes. Then I can work towards filling up my bits of peace with more. and more.

Saturday, December 5, 2009


I have been thinking about sacrifice and how it plays a role in what you eat. Here are the two options as I see them: eat perfectly and maintain weight, or eat pretty well, occasionally overindulge and then the result- the sacrifice. Most people I think do this on a subconscious level - they eat well during the week and overindulge on the weekend. That probably works well for most. For us overeaters though it isn't that unconscious. We must plan the ascetic day - the day of sacrifice or it just won't happen. Then weight is gained slowly but surely and you are no longer the thin/moderate/whatever-weighted person you were a few months ago.

So am I willing to sacrifice? Yup. Is it something I plan? Yup. I have a kind of weekly lower eating day on a day when I don't usually work out. Then when it gets to a point when I just don't feel like it is working any more then I do the big day of no eating (famously called the steak day). The thing I found today is that it worked well with yoga. I felt good and clear after not eating all morning and then a two hour class to finish the cleanse. Now I am feeling good and ready to start again tomorrow. Sacrifice sounds so bad, but it isn't, and it puts things in perspective. In fact, I need to play with my son now - that is where I belong.

Friday, December 4, 2009


Todays goal: don't overeat at the end of the day thus ruining all the days good eating. Ok, I know it doesn't negate it, but I sure don't like myself for it. And then there is this - Why the fuck do I still do this? And if I felt like I just needed more carbs in my diet I would do it, but it is so not out of hunger. What is it? Boredom. When my cortisol is spiking and I can't think of anything else I eat. I tried reading, I write some, but inevitably the thought comes creeping in. (What about those chips? Ginger cookies?) And then I can't stop thinking about it. I am not a night time person so I can't go get an graveyard job and on the nights hubbend is watching basketball there just isn't much for me to do. What do you do at night?

uggh. so, my goal for today is to eat satisfying meals (two down, yummy) and to only eat when hungry. Shouldn't be so hard, right?

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Another Day

So I went to the naturopath for my test results. The result? I have low acids in my stomach which could be causing my food "allergies". If I can rebuild them then they should go away. The second? My sleep is horrible causing me to be tired and grouchy and ... Well, my cortisol levels at night are through the roof and that is why I can't sleep. At a time when your adrenal glands should be calming down mine are spiking. How do I fix this? Remove the stresses from my life that are causing me upset. Hmm. Essentially - be happy. Well, that wasn't helpful.