Sunday, June 20, 2010


I'm spending a lot of time with myself recently. Whether running or biking with music or swimming without any noise at all I have a lot of time with my thoughts. And with my upcoming Olympic Triathlon looming I am thinking a lot about whether I really have it in me to complete this thing.

What I've come to is that is all about recovery. I climb a hill, how long does it take to recover my spend and breath so that I can continue. I run a distance at a quicker speed to shorten my times and then run some more. It reminds me of the soccer years. How running quickly after the ball was important, but almost more so was the ability to recover, get back up the field to force the offsides and keep control of the game. So how well I do on this tri is really about how quickly I can recover my breath and center to go on to the next event.

And then... it makes me think about life. Because what is life if it not about recovery? How can you hold onto your heart when it has been broken? How do you get through that truly painful day when you just don't think you can make it? I have had plenty of those days. And the days get better the quicker you can recover from the pain, the heartache, the unrelenting voice of a toddler.

I wonder if I can be like the desert flower that once it has it's heart scooped out can live on the water that fills it up every morning. Root inside my decrepit parts, find myself and live each day out. Recover. And live again the next.

Saturday, June 19, 2010


So I ate a very yummy orange poppyseed piece of cake today. I was at the grocery store and thought I deserved it. It was very good. I had just come from a bike ride so I probably did, right? But what is deserving? And do I deserve a treat EVERY time I exercise? That seems a dangerous proposition. I am training for a triathlon so I am exercising every day. I have read that some people eat treats only on the weekend or S-days. I generally eat a treat if a really good one is presented to me. But really, I don't need treats that often. They just make me high and oh-so-very low. Not to mention the fact that I might be sabotaging my good eating habits by continuously adding sweets to my eating regimen.

Did I deserve a treat today? No. I was just hungry after working out for three hours. I had a treat yesterday. I didn't need one today. But mindlessness gets in the way. And singlemindedness towards the goal of one "deserved treat that looks super yummy and I can't get my mind off of it so I must eat it".

Should get back to my book now. I think it has good stuff. Nothing mind blowing. Just seems to be the right language, the right cadence and enough common background to be just what I need right now. Me, Food and God. We'll see.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

things I learned today

I rode twenty five miles today on my bike for test three of olympic triathlon can I actually do it without dieing test. It was furthest I'd ever gone. I stopped three times to call my family, confirm my son's haircut appointment (it sucked, does anyone have a good one?) and to breathe onetime before a 500ft climb. I feel rather less succes after this test than the others. However, I did learn a few things:

-While going down a hill at 32 miles an hour is awesome, going up that hill takes three times as long and is twice as hard. Kinda not worth it.
-There is some measure of patience learned from having lived 35 years that makes biking for 2 hours ok. Not really fun, but OK.
-Passing someone (no matter their age) is supremely awesome.
-Last but not least, if you don't want to have an epidural during delivery just ride a bike for twenty five miles. That will absolutely numb your vaginal sufficient for the smooth delivery.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

A bit more on that

My son came in this morning after having gone the snacks cabinet and eaten a whole package of graham crackers. He had one yesterday as a snack and apparently had been thinking of them since then. He had already eaten breakfast. Sound familiar? wow. The book I was (put it down for a bit to stop being angry) mentioned that kids are chubby earlier now because these tendencies are showing up earlier.


Do your kids do this too?