So I think I have been going about it the wrong way. I just listened to a lesson on feeding your family and the key to feeding your family is not to force them, but to show them the way. Now I thought I was doing this, but my hubbend's and my view on nutrition is drastically different. And if modeling was effective then my son would like kale a lot more than the mac n cheese/chicken nuggets/fried rice options my hubbend presents to him 1-2 times a week. Because he totally eats whatever J eats. He automatically hates my food (no matter how much J acts out loving the food at dinner) and loves what they eat together. I have less of a problem with J's food as he is an adult male who chooses his own path, as my son who will soon go to school and will have to make healthy decisions for himself. Well - this scares me. Because school food is sooooo gross. And the paternal side of the family has eating/digestive issues that could totally be diet managed. But they don't care to. and I can't control it. BUT I want to. BUT I CAN'T.
All I can control is myself and that barely. I think I am the last person who should be in charge of someone elses nutrition. Weird that this is what I choose as my next career. Probably will be successful because I will work with people who want to make a change in their diet/nutrition/lifestyle vs the people I live with. They are content.
Wouldn't that be nice? To just be content. at peace. love myself and where I was at? But that is the essence of me. I want more. I want to do a Half-Ironman. I want to eat better (more responsibly). I want to be a good person. I want to have a healthy social life. I want more. I always have. I honestly I think that is ok. That is who I am. Those who love me do so knowing that about me. And I love them for knowing that.
I love you.
And I really do hug well. You'd be amazed how good a Brooke hug can be.