Saturday, November 13, 2010

Fat books

I actually walked away from a fat book today.  For the first time I didn't resonate.  So, I put it down, put it in the book return slot and sent it back.

I usually love reading about emotional eating.  I feel good reading about people who have problems with eating or their size and then in typical light fiction fashion work through it and are happy.  Or, I read the nonfiction variety about how and why people eat and different ways to think about food. 

I recently read a book where the protagonist talked about binge eating.  Not all fat people binge eat or even have eating issues and not all thin people eat well.  In fact most people don't eat well at all.   My main eating issues come from hiding and binge eating.  I know exactly what I should be eating, but "want" the other foods.  You know, the ones that everyone else eats.  I hide the bad food that I eat so that no one knows why I am chubby.  I eat it so that no one can look at me and know my weakness.  It is interesting that being fat is something that you can't hide.  So many other addictions can be hidden fully from society/friends/family.  Eating badly can be hidden - you can portray all the healthiness you want from your vegetarian/organic/whatever diet, but the resultant habits show up very clearly on your body whether it is bad skin, weight in places you don't want it or in lack of muscle tone.

I used to resent all the skinny bitches out there.  Now I don't.  I realize they are no better off than me.  They have their issues - issues that don't always show on the outside. 

I associate with binge eaters even though I am no longer fat.  I associate with people who try to eat to feel better.  I associate with the lonely stay at home moms who yearn for a community and a place to feel accepted for their choices.

Think about what you hide.  Think about what you want from your life.  Now try to bridge the gap between the two.  How can you make it happen?  How can you make what you want from your life into what you have dreamed?

No comments:

Post a Comment