I'm spending a lot of time with myself recently. Whether running or biking with music or swimming without any noise at all I have a lot of time with my thoughts. And with my upcoming Olympic Triathlon looming I am thinking a lot about whether I really have it in me to complete this thing.
What I've come to is that is all about recovery. I climb a hill, how long does it take to recover my spend and breath so that I can continue. I run a distance at a quicker speed to shorten my times and then run some more. It reminds me of the soccer years. How running quickly after the ball was important, but almost more so was the ability to recover, get back up the field to force the offsides and keep control of the game. So how well I do on this tri is really about how quickly I can recover my breath and center to go on to the next event.
And then... it makes me think about life. Because what is life if it not about recovery? How can you hold onto your heart when it has been broken? How do you get through that truly painful day when you just don't think you can make it? I have had plenty of those days. And the days get better the quicker you can recover from the pain, the heartache, the unrelenting voice of a toddler.
I wonder if I can be like the desert flower that once it has it's heart scooped out can live on the water that fills it up every morning. Root inside my decrepit parts, find myself and live each day out. Recover. And live again the next.