Control

I've recently returned from vacation where I learned something interesting about my eating. I spent the early part of the week with my parents. This was fine as my mom knows (pretty much) what I eat and respects it. She even told a saleswoman that I have worked hard on my body. I think she meant it to be a compliment... :). ANYWAY. She would ask me what I wanted and this was fine, even dropped another pound I think before the big bikini unveiling. So, I arrive in Phoenix and what happens? I have absolutely no say in what I can eat for breakfast and then find it really hard to find healthy foods for lunch and dinner. And then, guess what happens? I gave up. Just ate the food brought to me and felt increasingly gross. One reason was I never knew when I was going to get another meal brought to me and I didn't want to miss the opportunity for the free food. Another was that it is really hard to eat well when constantly presented with huge plates of food filled with carbscarbscarbs.

Wonderfully, I'm not being hard on myself. I am just back home and buckling down to my regular diet and will lose the weight. But back to what I learned.

I really became a better eater and able to maintain this body I now claim when I gained control of my diet. I know what I eat and how it is comprised and I even know what it is that makes me go astray. I was so frustrated to not be in control of my diet. It made me feel like there was nothing I could do to be good to myself and feeding myself mindfully.

And what is interesting is that I feel so much better now that I am home and in control. I don't even mind that I was hungry this morning b/c I knew that I would feed myself soon and I would feed myself well. I am looking forward to this week of abstemious eating and giving my body back to myself.

Side note - not all people are like me. Surprise, surprise. The hubbend finally began to eat better when he gave away control of his food and just began to eat what I served him. That too I find interesting.