Body Frame

I'm usually moving around and doing stuff. Not often do I just sit and ponder. I should, probably, but when I have the time to sit I prefer reading. I love entering someone else's world. So, I was surprised to find myself out recently, totally sober, and just sitting. I enjoyed it, observing human interaction and expression.

At some point though, maybe I was getting tired, I saw in a moment people for their body frame. And really, how different they all looked. Every one is shaped differently, with different sizes and their body coverings fill their frame. That reminded me of why I wanted to lose weight. My mom used to say I was just big boned. I have always been strong which I like and flexible, which I love, but also big. So when I found out about the HCG diet I thought, "Let's see if I can get my body to match my frame." To really and truly see what I look like. So I did, I lost weight, and then some more and gosh, I weighed less than I thought I could.

So, I'm sitting on the couch observing these frame/body having people and wondering why if that is what I saw in myself before. A frame/body that didn't match? What was I so afraid of?

Now I sit, try to be calm, and think about it. What does my body give me? What do I need to give it? Because we are in a relationship together. A healthy one is my hope.

Tuna Salad

I'm not exactly sure why tuna salad over cabbage and sunflower greens is soooo satsifying, but it really is. Perhaps it is the crunch. It is one of those meals from the diet (HCG) that has become so ingrained in my diet and it never gets old. Other meals have - steak salad, shrimp celery salad or the lemon vinegarette dressing - but tuna salad just stays satisfying. It is nice and comforting to have a food that is not only so nutritious, but fills my soul as well. Food isn't supposed to feel restrictive or marginalizing. When you eat and are satisfied on so many levels then you know you've found something truly "healthy".

Lost Weight on Ranchito Night

I can't believe it! We went out to El Ranchito (an old favorite) for dinner last night and this morning I lost weight! I definitely made different food choices, but the chips and margs were the same. The challenge with mexican food is the lack of veggies and too many carbs (rice and beans and tortilla). This restaurant has added some vegetarian options recently, but these have no protein in them (no black beans there). So, I went for the steak fajita with corn tortillas. Pretty yummy - wayyyyyy too much food. We took a short walk after. Was so dreading the scale this morning. What a pleasant surprise. My body is processing foods better since that thing I'm doing started and my naturopath discovered I have a hard time processing dairy. It seems more efficient now. What a marvel is the human body. I should thank it more often.

bette midler doesn't trust me

Bette Midler was on the Rachael Ray show sometime this spring and on reruns last week I saw part of the show while working out. I am an old fan of hers and when I saw she was going to be on I was excited even though I don't usually watch that show. At some point during the interview she said she doesn't trust people who don't like food. Huh. My idol doesn't trust me? That's sad. But wait, don't I like food? I didn't used to - but since this thing I'm doing started I've been more mindful of the food I put in my body and how it affects me. What role does food play in keeping my mind and body healthy and energetic? I now know that carbs in the afternoon bug me, but I need some in the morning for energy to workout. I know that veggies and protein are good at dinner, especially when I add some spices to them. I've been experimenting and really learning what I like. So don't I like food now? Now that I can trust food not to turn on me at any moment and shovel itself into my mouth with abandon?

I think so.

Food-Sharing

I'm not very good at sharing food. I am much better than I used to be, but really don't eat my first bite or last. Unless I offer, of course. And I am offering much more these days as I work through my food "issues". At some point I figured out that the sharing thing came from not feeling that I had enough food to eat. Odd, considering my upbringing. We had plenty of food around the house, but where the enough comes into play is desserts. We had them around occasionally, but apparently we were all supposed to be as controlled as my dad and eat the proper amounts on a regular basis. That didn't work for me and I started sneaking food from a very early age. When my husband talks about having cookies around as a kid he talks like they were always there and he never really that about it. Still is like that - he lets the cookies I send with him to work (so I won't eat them all) go stale. That is interesting to me. At various times I have tried breaking myself of this enough or not-enough mindset. In "Overcoming Overeating" they say that you should have a Brooke-shelf and that you should make a list of your favorite foods. You are then supposed to eat the one the you really like until you don't want it any more. Oh, I can't even imagine how many oreos I hate in 2005. I finally feel like I have control over my food right now. I don't feel the pull of sweets and when I eat something my naturopath said to observe, not judge. When I do that life is quite good. Maybe I needed that food in that moment. Was that my body talking? Or my mind? Maybe, just maybe I needed squash instead. (I'm still waiting on that one :).

Now, it seems my son has this enough thing too I'm afraid. I was so glad when I heard he was a boy, I was relieved that I wouldn't have to model food for a girl and deal with all of this. Can't stop unless the food is done. How could this be genetic? I share my food with him all the time as does my husband. He'll share his food too, but he doesn't listen to his stomach, he eats until it is gone. Even when the result of eating that many craisins could NOT be good. I'll have to keep watching, hoping, and providing as much of good role modeling as possible. I don't wish this on anyone.

Pounds and Inches

Here is a link to the manuscript: http://www.hcgdietinfo.com/Dr-ATW-Simeons-Pounds-and-Inches.htm

This thing I'm doing

I am 8 weeks into this thing I'm doing. It is called the HCG diet. I first heard of it from a friend who, after losing some weight, told me about it. But the thing is that she not only looked great because she lost weight, but she glowed with health. And that is what I am after. I have long been a healthy person who eats well, works out, and then eats crap. I was looking for a change in perspective and this diet seemed just the thing. I read Pounds and Inches, the book by Dr. Simeons where he describes the diet, why it is unique and how it is achieved. I was hooked and immediately called to set up an appointment with a naturopath.

After 25 days I lost the 23 pounds I didn't think I could lose. I had done it once before with Weight Watchers and I was STARVING. This time I wasn't and was able to finally get rid of the those post (and pre) - baby love handles. I am on my fifth week of maintenance and feel great. I had one blip last week and has been totally rectified.

The reason for this blog? Well, my loving husband is tired of hearing me talk about food, how to prepare food, what I'm making and the grocery store I will buy it in. I think I'll share it with you instead.

Oh, and I am working up a weekly spreadsheet to post my weight, exercise and diet. I have found it really helps seeing what I ate and how this affected my weight. I'm happy to share.