What is sugar?

So I heard someone say, "...during that year you didn't eat sugar" during a podcast yesterday and I smiled to myself.  I haven't eaten sugar for two months and I thought, "What if I did it for ten more months?"  How extreme is that you wonder?  Not so much when you consider I did it for health reasons.  I have been trying for years to figure out what is going on with my body.  At 40 my mind-body connection decided to go to pieces and I've been trying to unfuck it since.  I've done a pretty good job going at it from all angles: diet, exercise, allergies tests, ENT, asthma medications, breathing, meditation, acupuncture.  The result is pretty good health, but a constantly runny nose.

Why no sugar? One of the last remaining mental blocks I have around food is that constant wondering when I next get to eat it.  And it makes me wonder, why would I let something else be in control of me?  I have never liked it and have removed everything else that controls me, so why would I keep this one just for the sake of other peoples comfort and the occasional piece of cake.  This time I wouldn't be quitting sugar for extrinsic reasons, it finally is because I want to feel better on the inside.  I want to feel in control of my body (I really hate that runny nose).  When my ND said no sugar for a month to see if that would fix my runny nose due to candida in my system you know I was willing to try it.

I'm not sure if you know, but I stopped drinking over four years ago.  And it started with a few months, then 6 months, then a year and then... why drink?  I feel better not drinking so why start again now.  I noticed early how related drinking was to sugar and had a friend who drank a lot who told me they didn't have a sweet tooth... until they stopped drinking and noticed their sugar cravings.  I've never claimed to be one of those silly savory people.  I've developed a savory tooth over the years due to my diligence in my diet, but that sweet tooth still persists.

So when I heard no sugar for a year it echoed that feeling.  I feel better with no sugar - and it isn't low inflammation, more energy stuff.  I still have a runny nose and have been sick more in the past year then in my whole life, but I feel better not thinking about when I'm next going to eat sugar.  There was a release at some point about two weeks into the start in March- oh, no sugar, great, let's move on.  And what a breathe, a great deep one, that was.  And is.  So I'll continue to not eat sugar... Why make it formal?  Because things are coming up - holidays that generally involve sugar, Mother's Day, my birthday, a post competition celebration and three birthdays in June.  And I realized I was dreading them because I didn't want to start planning and thinking and hoping that I once again would get stuck in that rut of waiting for my next sugaring.

Before I move I need to know.  What is sugar?  And it seems to come down to honey.  Added sugars are no.  For sure.  But honey as a flavoring seems to be bugging me.  I talked to the hubbend and we wondered if zero meant zero or if there was a gradation of intent.  Or was the total percentage within an item that constitutes "sugar".   I've waffled and wondered now for a day about three items: ketchup, honey mustard dressing and PamNTam's (my local farmer) pork sausage.  And I've decided, yes, they are sugar.  Mostly because I don't want to give them up.  

I am sitting here wondering what is next. My official start date was March 6.  It's on?!?!

Swim-time Musings on Fast Food

As I attempted to use my Burgerville card today to check into the rec center I began to think about the last time I had been there (last December).  I then decided to figure out how many times I had eaten fast food this year.  I counted five (three trips to In and Out, one to Taco Bell, and one life saving trip to Dairy Queen).  All were travel/road trip related.  And in the case of the dairy queen I wouldn’t have made it home otherwise. 

Fast food is often blamed for the nation’s obesity problem, but as you can tell that isn’t the case with me and I still struggle with food and my weight.  Well, eating isn’t a struggle but it certainly is work.  It is work to be mindful in how I eat, how often I eat, and what I choose to eat.  I used to only think about how it would affect my weight, but as I age I think more along the lines of if it will give me energy and whether it will keep me up at night.  So along the way I have given up caffeine and those awesome diet pepsis and because they certainly don’t give me energy and they keep me up at night.  I continuously work towards eating in a way that will allow me to live my life, look my best, and yet share in my family/community’s eating.  So yes, it is work.  But it is work that is worth it.

I read a Deepak Chopra article last week that made me think about my son and my childhood when it spoke about childhood obesity.  He wrote, “80 percent of obese youth become obese adults.”  That is horrifying.  I was never obese, but was certainly bigger as a child.  My weight would not have been a concern as compared to children these days.  I know the habits formed as a child are so much more important.  I worry about these children as I looked around the high school I subbed at last.  They don’t know what they are doing to themselves.  As adults, we do.  It is so much harder to break habits formed as a child than those started as adults.  I wish I could help them, but will just continue to do the best with my child and those around me.  That is all I can do right now, but really, it isn’t enough.

Cleansing vs detoxing

Every once in a while most of us feel a little bogged down and try to eat a “clean” diet for a while.  This is a great thing to do.  A great way to reset your system is to do a cleanse or detox.  I just finished the “Colorado Cleanse” with Dr. John Douillard.  I have read a number of Dr. Douillard’s books as I have been exploring Ayurveda.  Ayurveda is the India principle of eating based on body types and seasonality (very simply put).  

Cleansing is a great way of cleaning out the body of nasty foods that are bogging down your system.  Taking some time out of your daily eating routine to development new patterns.  Detoxing is taking it to a new level.  That is moving cleaning out the bacteria, villi, resetting your digestion, and a general healing of your system.  This is a great way to expose the weaknesses in your digestive system.

The first time I do a cleanse or detox I usually have a hard time.  The more times I do it, the more I learn about my body and the better I feel.  So as I hone in on the the weaknesses I feel within my body and spend quiet time figuring out how to heal myself.

I having Dr. Douillard lead this cleanse.  I will probably do it on my own next time.  So, this spring you should join me!  You will feel better for it!

Wherein Brooke realizes there is a lot to this eating thing

I recently read Eating Animals by Jonathon Safron Foer.  This book definitely grossed me out with its imagery,  sent me over the edge, and drove the hubbend crazy (due to my eternal badgering him over the grossness of eating meat). Now I am reading Omnivores Dilemma again and I am waiting for Michael Pollan to react the same way.  I am reading it wondering, how can you see all you have seen and still eat meat?  Yet he does. 

I am happy to say I have relaxed on my hubbend and now don’t badger him at all on the subject, but as this loosening occurs and the longer time passes from reading that book (EA) the more I lose my own grip on the subject.  To some degree the ability to eat meat comes from forgetting that the meat comes from an animal and the process it took to get there.  So I sit and wonder how bad the honey chicken from the Chinese restaurant could be.  The answer?  It isn’t if you are ok with eating chicken.  But to make the leap back into eating meat makes that chicken not feel like the right choice.  So, what is the right choice?  And why?

There are so many external factors and influences to how you eat.  Sometimes it is hard to know what to do and the more information you get the more confusing it can be.  Sometimes I just want to eat something and not care about it.  I want to eat it not caring how I am going to feel, look and how ethical the process is that got that food in front of me.  Sometimes, but not often I wish I could unlearn all that I have learned and go back to eating badly.

But then.  Isn’t that what eating is supposed to be?  Isn’t eating supposed to be about what your body wants and not the mind?  It isn’t supposed to be about rules and calories and nutritional bytes.  My body needs this food to fuel my activities and mind converting it to energy and future thoughts.

How do I get there?  Because that is really the goal in all this.  To eat.  Mindfully yet honoring the body. Enjoying the food that sustains me.  How do I do this? 

I don’t know. And I’m bummed.

Cookbook awesome-ocity

I found this cookbook at New Seasons, ordered it from the library, and received it today.  I was literally putting bookmarks in every other page of this cookbook.  The recipes were this yummy looking!

Not only does this author have a similar cooking aesthetic as me in terms of using whole, real foods, but there is nary a mentioned of TVP (texturized vegetable protein) or fake meats anywhere!  AND (yes, AND) most are vegan.  Meaning there isn’t any of that vegetarian tendency depending heavily on processed carbs and soy products to make a vegetarian meal.  Yay!

Confusion Reigneth

I am so confused about what to eat right now.  Not something you would expect to hear from one immersed in a nutrition school, but that is the case.  Between my diet experiments over the last few years and learning about all the dietary theories over the past 7 months I just have no idea how I am supposed to eat. 

So, let’s assess:

Vegetables are good. Fill me up, digestion awesomeness ensues (can’t only eat vegetables, so…)

Meat – a bit of a moral issue there now.  Although if you have happy chickens at home I would be happy to eat your eggs.  Fish is on my questionable list right now too.  Have been eating some, but not really happy about it.  Beef.  Beef I just have this bad memory of this nasty rotten eggs taste I had in my mouth after I ate it.  And it was good, local beef.  hmm.

Fruit – LOVE apples, most fruit.  all good.  especially blueberries.

Nuts – tend to go a little crazy on them, but they are good in general (must keep watch)

Legumes – yummmy and good.  Must remember to get fermented foods in though when eating them.

Dairy – only if fermented or on the rare special occasion.

Soy – try to mimimize non fermented varieties, but good digestively for me

Grains – only eat these in the morning or they can give my indigestion in the afternoon

Fats- trying to lower that (keeping to avocado and nuts)

Sugar makes me run around like a bobble-headed tweety bird.

Caffeine is ok a little bit at a time, but I can’t sleep very well with much in my system.

I am about 2 weeks into not weighing myself and not eating any specific way.  I am just eating my recommended allowance of fruits/veg (5-9 servings).  I am not limiting.  Other than 5-9 servings of fruit/veg a day I eat what I want.

I might not be as skinny as I was, but I think I need to say screw it for now.  Being healthy is more important than being skinny. 

The last time I tried (hubbend remembers that as the Oreo year) was when I read Intuitive Eating and Overcoming Overeating.  Both good books, but now I am in such a better place that I can do it truly.  Without the oreos .

We are all different.  We all digest differently, have different tastes, energy needs and ability to transfer food into energy.  We all have unique needs, bodies, minds and processes.  And we are all living different lives that fulfill us, stress us and nurture us differently.

This is what is going on with me right now.  Actually nice to have it written down so I can track it.

Disordered Eating

Is a highly episodic and cyclical problem.  Whether it is body image issue or a food related issue you can solve it for a while, but it comes back if you let it.  It is sneaky.

When you find yourself struggling with food cravings, energy issues or bad patterns old or new there are some things you can look at to help:

1- Disordered eating usually rears it’s head when something is off in your life. Observe: is something lacking in your life, or how are you out of balance?

2-Notice how the pattern emerges (daily, hourly).  Does it look different than last time? Then…

3-Think how how you worked it out last time, is that structure still in place?  If not, would that work again?  If so, what has changed?

4- If it is new think about what is going on (probably outside of food) and notice if that brings up an emotional or food response in you.

5- Talk to someone.  Talk to someone who won’t judge you.  Someone who will listen to you and help you reflect on what is going on in your life and who makes you feel supported.

Does it help to know you are not alone?  You are not.  There are so many people out there with disordered eating issues big and small.  We all hide it.  Be proud of yourself for being aware.  Now move on to the next step and find ways to love yourself without food!

Take Care.

Quarterly Update

So I have been veganish for 3.5 months.  I’ve really enjoyed it, been feeling pretty good, but the hubbend is beginning to balk at the lack of animal products in the food I cook.  So, I decided to take a three day adventure while he is out of town.  Ironic, yes, I am aware.  However, I wanted to do it without any discussion so that I could truly see how I was feeling without interpretation by others.  Others otherwise known as the hubbend. 

I started yesterday on what appears to be a very balanced carb/fat/protein diet.  In the past when I was eating animal protein it was mostly paleo (as you might recall), but that didn’t work so I thought I’d try a structured “balanced” diet. 

So, my first reaction is wow, that is a shit-load of protein.  (The USDA My Pyramid can officially suck it.)  My second reaction is damn do I have the grouchies even with the coffee I am drinking.  My third reaction after eating an egg this morning is, “Oh yes, this is why I stopped eating eggs because when I workout after eating them I feel like I am lugging around a ton of bricks.”  This leads me back to why I have enjoyed eating less animal products in the first place.  I have enjoyed the lightness and even keel-ness of my feelings since stopping the animal products.  The past two days I have been tired and grouchy.

What is rather nice is how easy it is to eat with the animal protein in place.  It is easy to bake some fish and put some veggies and a grain with it.  It is simpler that way, but less fulfilling. for me.

I have been thinking about someone I know who eats meat and frozen spinach every day.  I sometimes wonder if I could do that.  It sounds so nice not to worry about what I eat.  But then I remember that I am me.  and me has emotional attachments to what me eats.  And me actually likes to cook now so that just sounds plain boring.

So here I go on my spring veganish adventure.  I am beginning to crave my greens and berry smoothie something fierce.  I can’t wait until Thursday morning!!

I give

I have begun to think I’m a bad cook. I really was a bad cook, but over the past few years while staying home with my son I have become quite good (at least we think so).  One facet of my personality is that I get bored easily.  I am always trying out new recipes and searching for great ways to prepare foods I love.  So this raw thing sounded like a new fun challenge.  I started in January with my cleanse and when that was over I just kept on going.  Now some time has past and I have realized something.  The vegan(ish) part?  No problem.  The raw food part?  Ummm, that has been issue-laden.  After 2.5 months I am tired of making highly labor intensive foods that are frankly gross.  When making raw foods you don’t cook, but I am beginning to feel like I am a bad preparer of foods.  And it is taking it’s toll on my cooking psyche.

In case you are wondering, what are things I will never try again?  Pizza.  It is meant to be cooked.  Dehydrating does not will not can not get you the warm gooeyness that is pizza.  And you really need cheese.  Really.  Brussels sprouts.  That might have happened accidently as I love dehydrated broccoli, but the raw bs experience almost killed my fantastic love affair with Brussels sprouts.  So I will stick to my awesome roasted recipe.

At this point I will keep six raw recipes.  Lasagna (for special occasions), Pad Thai, two different kale salads, sprouted buckwheat porridge and a dehydrated portobello mushroom, cashew mayo on almond bread sandwich.  They are all good and will remain in the rotation.  I also enjoy sprouting beans/lentils/grains, raw hummus, all raw smoothies, and a few other ways of incorporating rawness into our eating.

So, I will try to find new recipes this summer.  But I need a break.  I need to rebuild my cooking psyche so I can feel the confidence to once more boldly prepare raw recipes that might just suck.

A changing

You know that feeling that you have when you are full?  Sounds nice, but in reality it isn’t.  Especially when you’ve been eating to fullness for consecutive days.  And then when you go to yoga and try to move and bend your body.  Then it really doesn’t feel good. 

You see, I’ve been feeling like my diet isn’t quite right the last few days.  So I’ve been trying to eat foods that have been satisfying me these past two months, but they feel too heavy, and still not satisfying.  I realized with the changing weather I needed to head to the library to finally pick up my John Douillard book.  (This book is ok thus far, but does anyone have a better Ayurveda book?  I feel like it is too rudimentary for me.) Anyway, I started reading last night so that I could figure out what is going on in the spring for my vata (pitta) diet. 

What I’ve figured out thus far: Spring is kapha time.  Heavy and wet.  More mucus so I should stay away from dairy oilds (I think).  I need to eat bitter foods, less oils and fats… (Those should have been stored up from the winter foods.)  So, I need to back off the fats, oils, nuts, avocado, coconut and eat more the bitter and pungent leafy greens.  This should change the makeup of my morning smoothie a bit. 

Warmer winds and rain,

sleep problems

Diet might need a change.

Time to move

with Mother Earth.

What is next -

Look inside

Find the truth

Not the blame.

The Great Blender Off

Yesterday we planned to do a side by side comparison of the Vitamix 5200 and a Blendtec to see which one was better.  Most people haven’t heard of the Blendtec as Vitamix has the green smoothie/raw foods market cornered.  They both are made by companies that have been making blenders for a long time.

In the end we we decided not to do an old school blender-off. We just made a few different types of foods comparing functionality and design, and generally had a good time doing it.

First of all – size – the Vitamix is huge and burly looking.  The Blendtec looks so small in comparison.  The jar size is actually the same.  I know, crazy, right?  They both hold the same amount of liquid.  However, I would say that the Vitamix has greater usable space as the lid is higher creating a little bit more space inside.

First we made peanut butter.  I would actually like to see the Vitamix do this as well just for comparison.  I thought this was going to break the poor Blendtec, but it totally worked.

    

Homemade peanut butter.  How cool is that??

 

Next we made ice cream.  Why not, right?  While we weren’t thrilled about the recipes (too icey) we found that both made comparable products.  We used some of the peanut butter to make the pb ice cream (with coconut milk)  with the Blendtec and a traditional chocolate ice cream with the Vitamix.  I then added a banana to the pb ice cream and blended it again resulting in an awesome pb milkshake creation which my son loved.

Next we made milks.  With the Vitamix we made a rice milk and the Blendtec an almond milk.  The Blendtec dry mixed the almonds first.  This created a one step process vs a two step (mixing and then straining) required by the Vitamix.

Last we made a Ocean Fruit Smoothie from the Blendtec recipe book. It was really really good.

     

The recipe:

1/2 cup coconut milk

1 mango – peeled

1 pear – quartered and seeded

1 TBSP sugar (we didn’t use)

1 banana – peeled

1 cup ice

 

You could easily add some spinach or other green to make this a little more green.

These two blenders cost the same, but in the end it comes down to functionality. I am pleased with my Blendtec. Had you not guessed which one I had yet??   I like the subject buttons (the fact that I can push it and walk away while it does it’s job) and I like the dry capabilities (which you need to buy an additional dry container to do with the Vitamix). 

Either one is a great blender.  Either one would work for you to make soups, smoothies, sauces, ice cream, breads or dressings. 

If you have a working blender, use it until it dies (unless you are like me and find that your blender can’t do what you need it to do).  But if you need a new blender, you might as well buy one of these that will last you forever and have much greater functionality.  It is worth it.

Book Review: The China Study

Talk about mind-blowing science!  You weren’t?  Well, this eminently readable book blew my mind at first.  This seminal epidemiological study conducted in China shows us the relationship between cancer and our nutrition.

The China Study was conducted over 15 years by T. Colin Campbell in conjunction with two Chinese scientists and a huge team of people.  This is definitely one of those books where reading the introduction is necessary. As the book continues he begins to lose me on some of his extrapolations and I am not sure about all of the science, but I believe the study itself to be highly relevant.  I will continue to read other nutrition books (in fact I found myself cross-checking his data and finding with another book I am reading) in search of the truth for me.

Only read this if you want to know how important your food choices are.  And really really read this if there is a cancer in your family.

T. Colin Campbell is in the the upcoming movie “Forks over Knives”.  So he’s still trying to get the word out 20 years later.  I can’t wait to see it.

What is Important to You?

We all live our lives by our own values.  I think it is important to know what those values are thereby living our lives more meaningfully.  For most, values change over time.  I know that by living with my hubbend I now value recycling more.  I know that living in Portland as a mother has made me more aware of the green movement and buying sustainable toys for my son.

I have also turned into somewhat of a locavore.  I have realized that while I value organic foods, I am going to pick a local product over an organic product should I be forced to do so.

Having this recent piano/moving fiasco has made me realize how important music is to my life.  I grew up with music.  The hubbend did not.  And while he has learned to appreciate music and is a super rad dancer, he has no idea about the theory of music. I missed having instruments in my home.  I want those things in my life and for my son.

So.  Back to food nutrition.  It is important to me.  Probably partially due to where we live, but I have developed into a local eating, mostly organic, mostly vegetarian, physically moving woman.  I am not interested in politics (although I know I should be).  I would rather read a book on nutrition and food politics.  I would rather read a book about emotional eating and why there seem to be two “me”s.  The me who eats well and the me who will stop at nothing to get.that.sugar.

What are your values?  Think about it.  It is important. 

Then smile.

Serving Size

I like to finish my plate, don’t you?  I also like feeling satisfied by my meal and some of that comes from the mind - the thought that you finished your plate/meal.

I know now that if I am eating a animal based protein that is a max 4oz serving size and the remainder of my plate is a green/vegetable mix.   I know that and when I am making my own food I create meals that mostly satiate my mind and my body’s needs.  I say mostly because occasionally, in the name of health I create a meal that doesn’t satiate one or both of these needs.  These are the meals that end up with me in the chip cabinet at 10pm.

So my problem primarily occurs when I eat out.  At restaurants.  Because they serve HUGE portions.  Portions I could not possibly eat no matter how hard I try.  And believe me, I try.

Americans value value.  So we eat a lot of cheap foods.  I try not be like this, but still get stuck in the rut when I go to a restaurant and really want to feel the satisfaction of “finishing” my meal.  I can’t.  Or I do and truly feel like shit afterward.  It is really nice having something to take home sometimes so that I can eat it again another day.  But sometime couldn’t a restaurant just serve the proper serving size?

I know, I know the restaurant/food company/FDA’s job isn’t to make us healthy.  But every once in a while I would like to go somewhere and be served good food that satisfied me.   Food that made me feel like I’d had enough.

I don’t ignore my emotional issues, I’m just asking for some assistance.  You’d think the health care system would appreciate someone like me.  I won’t cost them as much.  In the long run people like me, while we might be a pain in the ass, are the ones that will live those healthy lives with less diet-related health concerns.  That is a good thing.  Right?

Nutrition Pushing

Last year was the year of the Omega Three Fatty Acid.  A concept most people don’t understand and wouldn’t know how to find one if forced, almost all items last year were changed so that they could be marketed as high in omega3s.  This year the  big companies are pushing Vitamin D and Calcium.  Who knows exactly how these nutrients are decided.  Last year the brussels sprout was the it vegetable; this year it is kale.  Kale is the main ingredient in every new recipe you see touted by companies.  Blueberries were presented as magical because they are high in antioxidants, now it is pomegranate and acai berries.

What will it be next?  Do we really need these labels?  Are they helpful without context?  And what really gets me is if someone eats kale every day then they aren’t getting enough variety in their diet to be healthy.  People need to eat all greens, one of them being kale.  People need antioxidants from a variety of sources.  And yes, we should be eating more greens to get more omega3s in our diet vs. omega 6s, but putting it into grains and other things where it doesn’t belong is not the answer. 

Then again

Once again the rules have changed and I am slightly behind in figuring it out.  I am not the most intuitive person so I am not surprised just glad that it finally sunk in.

What am I talking about?  The vague references aren’t clear?  It might be my lack of clarity which explains my lack of ability to clearly elucidate my thoughts.

I am sitting here sweating because I have had coffee which my body evidently doesn’t need.  Lemme go get a glass of cool water and I’ll be back.

OK.  Will henceforth start spilling it~ I have been eating too many carbs!  What?  How did that happen?  Well, after spending one year eschewing them as a way to maintain weight, this fall I started adding root vegetables and whole grains meaningfully into my diet.  Why you ask?  Well, this summer I didn’t have enough umph during my Olympic Triathlon and part of that was due to not enough carbohydrates in my diet.  Because complex carbs are good for endurance athletes.  The fiber slows down the absorption giving your body energy over time. 

So, what is the deal now?  Well, I am not training for a triathlon right now.  I work out, but just not as hard or for as long.  I don’t need all those carbs in my diet to keep my body keeping on.  I need to back off a bit.  Cause the belly is bugging me. 

In the spring I can come back to this, but I need for find my balance for now.  For winter.  Which is different than spring when I am training for running.  Which is different than summer when I am actively training and competing.  Which is different than fall.  Wow, this stuff isn’t easy.  And everyone is different. 

The body is amazing and complex, isn’t it?

Fat books

I actually walked away from a fat book today.  For the first time I didn't resonate.  So, I put it down, put it in the book return slot and sent it back.

I usually love reading about emotional eating.  I feel good reading about people who have problems with eating or their size and then in typical light fiction fashion work through it and are happy.  Or, I read the nonfiction variety about how and why people eat and different ways to think about food. 

I recently read a book where the protagonist talked about binge eating.  Not all fat people binge eat or even have eating issues and not all thin people eat well.  In fact most people don't eat well at all.   My main eating issues come from hiding and binge eating.  I know exactly what I should be eating, but "want" the other foods.  You know, the ones that everyone else eats.  I hide the bad food that I eat so that no one knows why I am chubby.  I eat it so that no one can look at me and know my weakness.  It is interesting that being fat is something that you can't hide.  So many other addictions can be hidden fully from society/friends/family.  Eating badly can be hidden - you can portray all the healthiness you want from your vegetarian/organic/whatever diet, but the resultant habits show up very clearly on your body whether it is bad skin, weight in places you don't want it or in lack of muscle tone.

I used to resent all the skinny bitches out there.  Now I don't.  I realize they are no better off than me.  They have their issues - issues that don't always show on the outside. 

I associate with binge eaters even though I am no longer fat.  I associate with people who try to eat to feel better.  I associate with the lonely stay at home moms who yearn for a community and a place to feel accepted for their choices.

Think about what you hide.  Think about what you want from your life.  Now try to bridge the gap between the two.  How can you make it happen?  How can you make what you want from your life into what you have dreamed?

Finally. Binding my cookies.

About a year ago I found out that I had some problems digesting dairy and eggs.  Honestly, I ignored the eggs, but concentrated on removing dairy from my diet as that resonated with me as having caused me digestive distress.  However, as I was in experimentation mode at the time I went about trying to replace the eggs in my baking.  I tried tofu, mashed bananas and a few others (didn’t try the egg replacer stuff as it didn’t seem like a healthy thing to do).  None of them worked.  I gave up.
About 1 month ago someone said something to me that jolted me in the recognition that perhaps eggs could be causing me more subtle problems.  And shortly afterwards realized I felt horribly during a run.  What had I eaten right beforehand?  eggs.  Uh oh.
So here I am after 14 months of diet experimentation and I am starting anew with something that I should have done a while ago.  I am going to remove all eggs and dairy from my diet for two weeks.  Every ounce.  Not a speck.  Let’s see how that goes.
Wow.  Was that a tangent.  What I meant to say was, “Today I made pumpkin chocolate chip cookies and replaced one of the eggs with flax seeds.”  Really exciting for me cause it totally worked.  A friend mentioned chia seeds to me as a great egg replacer and upon looking chia seeds in my handy Whole Foods Encyclopedia I found that flax seeds could work as well.  (Not quite as well, so I am going to get some chia seeds soon.)  I am going to try to replace both the eggs in my cookies next time.  I am pretty excited right now because I am having no distress from eating the cookies.  The chips were non dairy so I am feeling happy having made yummy cookies.  yay!
*  On a side note, hubbend and I are starting a new thing where he asks me about a nutrition concept and I research it and explain it to him.  I’ll get back to you on that.  Yesterday was lecithin.

Is it just that

I am supposed to be chubby?

This book I'm reading at first pissed me off. The description of the food industry's "highly palatable" foods - foods created softer, and designed with the intention of making us eat more, not well. I was angry. I know it is my responsbility, but shouldn't the food industry care that they are making us fat? Bigger portions sizes so we feel like we are getting a deal. Knowing that most people overeat when presented with more food? Where does the responsibility lie?

But then I read - more and more people are chubby, but only some are conditioned to overeat. I am one of them. I think about food wayyyyy too much. It makes me mad. resentful. but I do. I have tried hard to maintain my weight and generally it is ok, but sometimes I feel like I spend way to much time thinking about food, when the next meal will come or when I next get to have a cookie. I spend so much time making, buying, cooking good and healthy meals. But all I want to do is eat crap. I don't because then I'll feel bad and won't get to run and do the things that I love I can do. But it kind of goes back to the beginning. Why am I one of those people that have been sucked into the "give em bigger portions and they will eat more" group? My parents aren't that way, my husband isn't that way. Seems like it is neither genetics or environment.

Does someone else have the answer? I don't think so. While nutritionism is a new science and considered "soft" by those that consider it at all food science is definitely a science. The ability for companies to test out food and combine them with chemical flavors that are sure to arouse our interest. Nutritionism can't compete with that. Not when you have to fight brussel sprouts against "Flamin Hot Cheetos" and large corporations who have the time and money to spend on research.

So what do I do? Today I just try to eat well. Fight the good fight. (and yes, it is a fight)