Brooke Needs More Food

Every family has ritualized stories told about the members.  My story, usually told by my father, involves me crying on the soccer field at eight when my awesome rainbow colored shoes laces got muddy.  My brother’s story involves him (at three? four?) stating, “Brett NEEDS more food”.  Well, I guess I am channeling my brother, because Brooke needs more food.

You may or may not know that I am working at a school library this spring.  Knowing that I am sitting more I started making food decision based on that.  I made green juices, smoothies and salads for my meals.  All great meals, but just not substantive enough.  Even though I am sitting around I still need enough food to feel satisfied.  Enough food so that I don’t want to snack or eat a huge dinner.  More importantly, enough food to have the energy to workout in the afternoon (a time I really don’t want to be working out). 

Eating enough food is a common topic amongst those trying to lose weight, maintain weight or even those who want to gain weight.  I guess that means everyone, doesn’t it?  Enough is really more complex than the calories consumed because it addresses the mental aspect.  I suspect that is the more challenging and for me, sitting in a library all day, it is making this more challenging than normal.  You see, I am not busy at the library.  I am trying to fill my time and naturally I start thinking about lunch.  When the kids come in with their (rather foul smelling) lunches then I know it will be time for me to eat soon.  When the kids come in with their sandwiches and sodas and cheetos I start thinking about my smoothie.  Which suddenly doesn’t seem satisfying enough.

So today I began again.  I made myself a big ole salad with lots of fun, crunchy foods, a variety of textures, proteins, fats and I believe a whole head of lettuce.  J.  That sounds like enough food.  Maybe too much.  That is a problem I can handle.

Stevia Blues

I made some protein breakfast bars and I got the numb numbly feeling on my tongue.  I hadn’t felt that for some time, probably since the very first time I used stevia in a recipe about 7 years ago.  I didn’t notice the conversion rate, used wayyyyyy too much and created a grossly sweet recipe that was inedible.  For years I never thought I would eat stevia again. 

Many years later I rediscovered it. Now I regularly use the liquid form mostly to slightly sweeten my smoothies, my coffee, or various recipes that call for sweetening.  I still think about the function of my sweet needs: does my food need the stickiness of honey to bind it, the earthy flavor of maple syrup or do I just need something to be a little bit sweeter?  If the answer is the latter then I use stevia.

So so sad I am that the numb tongue is back.  The recipe said to use the powdered form (I had the liquid out).  Not sure why it would say powdered, but against my better judgment (not wanting it to be too sweet) I used packets.  I used the minimum.  I thought it would be ok.  It was not.

Stevia is such a strong sweetener, so different from the artificial sweeteners or even sugar.  I don’t think this type of thing would happen with honey.  You just wouldn’t use that much.  The stevia leaf is so sweet and so intense.  I still will use it.  But I think I can’t make that recipe again.  It is so bust for me.

What are you… selling?

I have long resisted any kind of sales position.  I was a teller in college.  That didn’t sell any stocks.  I was a event manager… that didn’t sell banking relationships.  I was a development associate… that didn’t sell theater tickets.  I have long resisted any job that relied on me selling anything.  Anything that relied on myself.

Today my hubbend reminded me that I don’t sell weight loss.  I sell health counseling.  Clients (and I) get caught up in our goals, but really, when some hires me who wants to lose weight they are buying something I can’t deliver.  I cannot lose weight for someone else.  They have to do it themselves.  Weight loss isn’t easy.  It isn’t simple.  It takes hard work, a dedication to a goal, and a prioritization that many don’t have.  (which is why so many fail)

So I wonder why I am doing this rather sales related job (something I have long denied doing) when it is something that has such a high failure rate?  It is something I finally believe in.  Something that is so important.  Something that our lives depend on.

I don’t want to live my life in ill health.  I want to thrive.  I want to live a life of being, feeling, thinking and doing.  All within the harmony of living.

Don’t you?