this week in brooke

This week has been tough mentally. And what do I do when I am mentally scurrying around searching for the nebulous happiness? I eat. badly. Everyone does something like that - mine has always been food. I hate it, but I need to some way to cope when nothing is wrong, but it certainly doesn't seem right. What I know: I need to spend more time with my husband and less with my son. I need to spend more time interacting and less time avoiding interaction (watching tv, reading). I need to smile more and when I spend time with son be present to it. This is my life. Perhaps I need to make some changes, but I can't eat my way out of it. Nope. Guess I'll go call my grandmother now.

Oh, and I'm making yummy cashew chicken salad for dinner! I love any recipe where I make my own dressing.

MyRecipes

MyRecipes

Last night's dinner was a success, though not all that exciting to me for some reason. I like pork, not a huge fan of mushrooms, but they didn't bother me. I like adding greens for the nutrition and black beans are always good. Why don't I care? I don't know. I am feeling a little ho hum these days about food. I remember two weeks ago everything tasted SO AWESOME. I wish I felt that way right now, but I don't.

pomegranate

I have wonderful childhood memories of pomegranates. I used to walk down the street to the neighbor's property and pick pomegranates. I would take this home and then sit on our light posts, throw them on the ground to split them and then eat them in all their messy goodness.

I went many years broiling chicken and being a mediocre cook. How happy was I when I discovered this Pomegranate Chicken recipe? Soooo very very happy. I made it only on special occasions and was usually foiled by the time of year and limited pomegranate season. How happy was I when going throw my recipes I realized it was probably pomegranate season and I could make this for my family. Beta liked the pomegranates, Alpha liked the quinoa (sub for couscous) and I liked the combo. What a yummy meal when combined with some fresh brussel sprouts.

Organizing

I just organized my recipes - they are in a three ring binder - and it is really cool to see how my diet has changed over the years. From my parents Mastercook recipes to my sunset, oprah and epicurious recipes I have developed my own way of cooking. I like seeing the slight shifts and I can remember what I was thinking about food when I put it into the binder. I am throwing many away - to make room for more yummy yummy recipes. Bring it on!

Lentil Soup for the Soul

Lentil Soup for the Soul

It seems that I am starting a vegan Fridays tradition. If Alex keeps making up good ones then I am going to keep cooking them. I am excited!

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Butternut Squash Soup

I made this yummy soup last night. http://www.oprah.com/recipe/omagazine/recipes/food_omag_200710_squash
Beta helped with the food processor to smooth out the chunks so that the hubbend wouldn't know there are onions in it. It was really creamyand flavorful; and now is frozen for a later eating. I tried to take a photo, but as most foods look gross in photos I thought I'd pass.... but trust me, it was good!

Friday night was corn and kidney bean chili (From the Oct 1 post). Also super yummy.

And next?

So, after 1.5 weeks I lost the 3 (yes 3, not 1 or 2) pounds that I needed to lose. I am once again in the weight range I want to be. It is hard to stay within two pounds, but to maintain that set point is the goal. I preached moderation and just eating right. And that is what I did. I was a little stricter the last few days and that is what finally did it. The question is, was it worth it? If last Tuesday I had just done a steak day like I was supposed to would that have been better? More extreme, yes, but then I wouldn't have had the 1.5 weeks of worry and wonder. Because I not only wondered if I could lose it again, I wondered it if was too low and I shouldn't lose it at all. And most concerning is that thought I've constantly had in head that I need to lose weight. alway there. ALWAYS thinking i'm not good enough. How do I get that out as well?

Todays goal: be happy. (even if my son doesn't nap)

Granola morning

Yah for yummy granola! This is the granola I made last night and ate this morning with soy milk and raspberries. Mason loved it too.

new patterns

Tonight we will (hopefully) create a new pattern. I eat really well all day, I exercise, and then nighttime happens. By then I am tired and just want to have a drink. When I drink then my inhibitions lower and I eat badly. Dumb. So, tonight at about 8pm hubbend is going to put on a pot of tea and we shall drink that instead. Hope it works!!

I having a hard time

I'm having a hard time getting out of weight-loss mode right now. I gained a pound or two during my weekend away and I keep thinking "I need to lose that weight". I am not doing anything about it of course, but I keep thinking I need to do it. Granted, this is just a pound, but it is still weight I don't want on me. This is where the head comes in to all of this. Like, the only reason I eat anything at 9pm is cause I'm thinking about food, not because I need it. So how do I get out of my head? Hubbend doesn't believe that I can picture the food in the cupboards. That I do this every night which is why I inevitably leave the family room for our bedroom. Then I read instead of think. So how to be ok with this weight (1-2 more than I want)? I assume once I stop obsessing it will go away too...

Warm up with Fall Chili

Warm up with Fall Chili

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judgments

This isn't about food, but I'm just irritated so here goes. I have someone who is a FB friend who used to be a real friend. In person we are still friendly, but are definitely not friends in my book anymore. Nothing happened - just drifted apart. She has always made snarky comments on my posts and recently it has begun to bother me quite a bit. One of the reasons is hypocracy. She posts statuses about people who stand in judgment of others to make themselves feel superior, but by calling me "prim" or putting down other peoples hairstyles isn't she just the same? Even if it is made in what I am sure she would say is a joking tone? I am just not sure what to do about it. Not a friend - check. But I just don't want to see it anymore.

onions

I recently read a blog article where someone talked about how much they hated onions. My hubbend does too. I used to, but now have truly embraced them for the crunchy yet spicy yet almost creamy yumminess they are. This summer I started eating them roasted with olive oil and salt and think I won't ever go back. They are a wonderful staple (along with the garlic and some chili paste to give punch to any meal. They set the palate and create the base from which everything grows. Ode to the onion!

So, tomorrow night ratatouille. Saturday - fajitas. onionsonionsonions.